merr merr

productivity 

coffee

forgot about my coffee, 

but i woke up by myself anyway.

my life is turning into an abyss of clothes and dirty napkins. 

matisyahu

daft punk 

lets make it a situation 

and fill it with dragging fingers and a heavy head

oh this day means something to me 

time passes inside a prism 

i feel the heat rising inside 

entrapped 

and its driving me mad 

make love 

to the wrong song 

an excluded conversation 

you are so angry 

and confused 

i can see it 

refresh it

it's complicated i know, 

nothing we haven't heard before, or will hear again. 

when something new doesn't work out 

i always revert back to what was. 

your life was always like an hour glass

filtering the sand from what is 

to what will be. 

unlike the seasons unfurling themselves like an ongoing story

with no beginning or end. 

keeping time steady beneath your feet

moooo

i should be concentrating, but I can't when all I can think about is how different things use to be 

distance

an old cracked tree 

lines an old cracked highway. 

the distance gets thicker and thicker

like every time a leaf falls 

its like the season is almost over 

but its barely even started , 

we're in the midst of it.

but sometimes memories aren't enough.

a simple touch from an older woman,

my equivalent to a grandmother,

leads me to feel understanding 

that i didn't always feel. 

an old graveyard 

a familiar town 

the distance between us is a gaping hole,

and sometimes i can't seem to close it

because on the bus the lights are so white 

that sometimes i pretend i will never get off 

and that I'm going nowhere 

that im at someone elses full dispense, 

like you so often were at your own. 

and then  i dont remember how to close it 

like i use to. 

going somewhere

Dear vodka, 

Its me lauren. 

O what this weekend may hold for me. who knows who knows. 

what decisions you and i shall help make together, 

how those decisions may make my life increasingly more awkward than it already is. 

yes, i think that may be possible. 

hmmmm....o my. 

on the megabus right now ! 

believe it or not it has improved, they now have outlets, 

and seatbelts ! they now care about our well being while seated ! 

how fab how very very fab. 

i think the bus driver just saw me itching my boob while he was looking in his rearview mirror, since i am right behind him. 

yay. good signs ! 

gotta

get shit done. yea. 

vulnerable

resorting back to an old feeling, is odd. especially if it's been a while. 

change is a relative term.

sunday morning

tweet tweet tweet. 

something new, something fresh. 

having a thoughtful day

But aren't they all?

Walked into a psych test today thinking it was next week. 

.....its times like these when i feel like im not doing well for myself. 

right and wrong right and wrong. 

if it's wrong does that make it not right?

crossing that fine line_________

like when do you take the next step?>>>> and when is the next step too far out?

sometimes you don't know you've crossed a line until youre too far over to come back. 

what does that mean? ..but don't you know.....

*cant you handle it?*

awkward

smile laugh 

if its different the next time we see each other 

sex in the moonlight is the same as keeping it hidden in the dark

what is it about the night that makes things more comfortable 

its too real during the day 

you're too much of who you are 

or not enough of who you actually are. 

burnt toast crooked smile awkward pauses 

lost in translation 

lack of meaning 

tell me what you want 

life is easy when everything is surreal 

no one says it better than connor, 

the love i sell you in the evening by the morning won't exist

it was so easy in the evening now its so complicated. 

 

weird dream last night

climbing up a rollercoaster, stopped by a friendly carnival worker before falling to my death. I was very grateful. Followed two guys around, one of them a red head. saw lindsey and my aunt. and then there was a rush to leave the carnival, or to be quiet. 

=>of (lie)F

to use your talents and abilities to do better for the world and to make yourself and others happy.--

6 , not too early not too late

sometimes im as bipolar as a person 

suckkkkkked dry of lithium.

where is the inspiration when there is none? 

i  need a fix cause im goin down-------------

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happiness is ? is is is isisisisi is  not feeling like your eyeballs are peering out from the space 

between the top of your head and where your arms are wrapped around your knees. 

staring at nothing just thinking.

the high is {*insertion...[almost]}?  worth the low (ive heard)

or is it ?

This is

centered

clock clock clock

is not working on this blog? 3 hours late.

jjjkldsafiou8938u4rildsfjdskl not a big deal but i want to fix it !

sensory adaptation

morning after but not really
its easy to miss something youre not looking for

typical

i have a friend whos addicted to sexting. 

but shes running out of ideass....

"hard throbbing cock in your wet pussy"

gets old i guess. 

november

when the birds sit on the water as the air gets reluctantly colder my mind drifts to other realities and spaces, involving you.